HOW TO ASSIT CHILDREN BETWEEN 6 TO 12 YEARS OLD?

BE AWARE OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT THE SAME!
‘’ Today the school is a place where a teacher behaves as a doctor and as a nurse to handle and give the cure for children who are very badly injured by the home situations and society’’
Says one of the great Montessorian in the 26th International Montessori Conference which was held in Chennai on January 8th and 9th of 2009. Yes it is true. Here we are no more stressing our brains from talking the various issues of the children in all families. But we are trying our best to support our self in guiding the changing age levels and seeing the children as the perfect growing adults.
As Dr.Maria Montessori the great educationalist guides us with her detailed scientific and emotional authentic studies, the trained teachers and parents feel very easy to handle the various age groups of children in various situations of life. The article discuss about the characteristic features of children of different age groups and parenting.
Who is this child?
Stage 1
The child in the house is our reflection. He is born with his sanchitha and sinchitha karamas. When the fresh atman gets into the mother’s womb for the rebirth it is the only the great human mother changes the entire karama of the infant through her teachings. So based on the woman’s spiritual status the infant is brought up to the outer world.
But the child who is seeing the earth after the birth has the inner psychic incarnation and plenty of human potentials which he is carrying from the parental genes and previous birth. His inner instincts which makes him to grow physically and mentally slowly makes his mind set up from where the ‘’self human ego’’ sprouts, triggers for further absorption, observation, anagramming, making his own personality.
From birth till the age of 3 the child is just the new born infant with growing psychic embryo which we call as ‘’SPIRITUAL EMBRYO’’. This vanishes by the age of 4 and there stops the personality development. So be aware only till 4 years we can make our home situations good for the child to grow as a good human character. But further situations will be helping him to do the remedies based on his karamas.
So from birth till 4 years what the parents especially the mother has given the child will continue as his personality. In this age just physical growth, observation happens. The mind is like a sponge which can absorb any liquid. This state of mind is called as ‘’absorbent mind’’.
So till 3 to 4 the child has observed and absorbed many units of information, emotions, skills, talents which are constructing his personality later.
Stage 2
Now the child is 3 to 4 years. Till the age of 6 he is totally different from what we have seen. He is now very much independent in movement, able to talk and express his needs and communicate with the outer environment. He has gathered many units of life values and now it is the time for his psych to co ordinate those units and make his character. First he will start reasoning just for thirst of knowledge. Then he implements the facts and ideas into reality. It can be about any thing in life. He loves secrets, spy work and want to know every thing. Parents must be very aware about this age. We can encourage their questions and also challenge them but must not give too much of information about any thing which will saturate their brains. This is the time for them to observe role models from own family. This is the time they want to know about good and bad and judgment. They enjoy every activity because the physic and physical power is very high.
Stage 3, 6 to 12 years
By 6, the child is very much independent in the physical movements and mental thinking. He is very clear about the happening in the home, family, surroundings. The mind which is building him says that he knew every thing. Though it is not true we need to wait for him to understand that there are many things which he has to be understood.
The self ego of the child pricks in various contexts and makes him to thing for and against his parents, peer group and people who are related to him. Here comes the main problem between the adults and the child.
The adult ego tells, ‘’ I suffered like these bla bla bla, I have given so much of courage, things, opportunities, but he is just wasting without knowing the time and life’’.
But the adult must realize that the child of this age level knew all things which we are listing about life, us and him. But there is a transition happening within the body and mind which hurdles the child to accept them obviously.
The main reason is the peer group pressure. The group has given various forms of pressure. The child’s age seeks the need of the outer world which can be easily done with the group. But today there are 1000s of pressure imposed on children by them self.
Ex: Children especially girls forms various groups among them self. The groups always have clashes like the religions. Silly reasons make them vary upset. There is gang in grade 7 in my school which accepts girls only if they have a slim body with cat walk.
In grade 3, boys have told to a child ask your father to take to this particular bakery to taste this particular cake. Then you can be with us.
Especially in girls around 10 years they are becoming more self conscious about their physical needs, shape and activities.
It is not easy for the mother or father to give a lesson of values to change them. The adults need to realize the environment where the child is living.
Main steps for the adults to handle this age group:
1. Give time for them to settle after every activity.
2. Give space for their emotions after any situations.
3. Give space for your self to communicate with them after any activity in friendly approach, but the awareness of the parenting consciousness must not be loosened.
4. Just make them aware that you know what is happening within them and assure them that you are always for ever as their first friend to listen to them in any situations. This is the most difficult task for us to cultivate within them. But it is very important for us to shed our own ego.
5. From the age of 6+ a male and female family role model is a must for a boy and a girl to follow respectively. Especially in case of the son it must be the father. The mother must make the father as the son’s role model.
6. Stop giving lectures of values, but show them in your reality.
7. Slowly tell them ‘’ this is the reality of our life, our family, town, nation and explain them the acceptance of what we need and assure them that they will be rewarded in proper time for all their deeds which are acceptable.
8. Do not bribe their actions.
9. The best punishment is just grounding them from all their actions. When a man is stopped from performing all his actions there comes the sense of self seeing and realizing his actions. But for no reason the adult must not with draw from the consequence.
10. Parents must be aware of the grounding action. They must not support the child when the consequence is proceeding.
11. Please do not show any of your in capability before the child. Even if we are unable to do certain things just explain them the reality but not emotionally.
12. Both parents must appreciate each other’s skills, talents, actions and deeds.
13. Please do not tell them that you are sacrificing for them. Instead of that tell them the gifts of God to your family which is not in others.
14. Do not get upset by this age the child knew many things about adults, family issues, sex, unacceptable words and many such things. All these have gone into their brains just from the observation, peer group and finally from us. They are not aware much about the danger but they have be addressed very firmly.
15. Make very obvious that the family and home culture is ‘’THIS’’. Tell them that any unacceptable cannot be appreciated and just remove their most exciting moments and strictly follow that till they come to you.
16. The reality behind poverty, luxury, caste system, reality of religion, spirituality based on their mind maturity.
17. Please don’t get upset immediately when there is an issue. First ask them the reason then talk to them.
18. Just give them the total confidence that they can share any thing they need.
19. The school complaints can be open to you without any fear. There are children who just call their father by themselves when there is an issue. They said that their parents understand and help them along with the tutors to solve the issue.
20. School diaries must not be the symbol of fearsome issue complains pages. This can be implemented into their minds.
21. If they want to involve in any unacceptable action just tell the real results behind that and follow them.
22. Talk to the 10+ old child about the physical change and explain the simple sex education. Today parents are doing this and helping the children to come out of many issues.
23. In any activity please don’t allow you’re self to open up with the end result and break out the secret of knowledge. They need challenging activities.
24. After 10 years till 12, the child will feel lazy, bored, unhealthy, reasoning but all in the forms of unwanted questions, no taste for scientific lessons, logical lessons, but interested in culture, history, fictions, and fancy stories and so on. They feel good about their skills but slowly feels shy for exposing, expressing for appreciation. But the child of 6 is opposite to this.
25. It is very difficult for their fresh self ego to accept the life reality. Just think how long we all take and suffer to accept our own life though we are spiritual.
26. The main lesson for the adults is just to follow them keep in eye with them but not giving the feeling of the bitter spy. But they need to know that the adults knew them well.
27. Just slowly talk to them and make them to realize the issue with the situation and give space and chances for the decisions. But tell them the decisions are totally responsible to them if they decide for them self.
28. By 6+ when the child knew about good and bad he is confused between the real judgments when it comes to him. So ask him to approach us to help him.
29. The family issues which they have taken into their mind are just because of us.
30. The child’s actions are the mirror reflections of our self ego.
31. They express us our actions.
32. The child follows what we do.
33. Ex: This is a very simple example. When a mother goes on complaining about her child doing every thing late the husband just asked her to check by what time she wakes up. She understood that she wakes up very late and do all her work slowly. This has been observed and performed by the child. When she changed her attitude and actions within few weeks the child also changed.
34. Finally please digest that the child is not living in the future. Why God has been worshipped mostly as children? Because they can allow live in reality if present tense. Please accept them and allow them to grow and just give guidance. Help them; don’t impose all your need on him now.
35. The studies, social set up, friends needs all make them weak and stressed.

Thanking you!